He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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