Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
