none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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