u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
