New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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