no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
