I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
