Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
