Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
