so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
