Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
