Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
