Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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