Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
