You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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