lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
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I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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