I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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