apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
