his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
