And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
