I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
false alarm, still single
Randomize
