I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
