i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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