we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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