And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
