You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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