This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
