I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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