is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
