I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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