Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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