I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize