Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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