Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
