If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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