So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
