Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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