that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
