this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My bed smells like the plague
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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