She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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