You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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