Quick, to the slutcave!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
