Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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