sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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