A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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