Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
