If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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