what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
