My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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