His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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