Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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