You really coming over, don't trick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
