Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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