I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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