It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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