so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm passing your future prison.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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