In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
