He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
