i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
