What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
