The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
